Day 45 Postpartum. Splish splash, Vinnie's taking a bath!

Vinnie had his first proper bath yesterday... good thing too as he was getting rather stinky (I think he prefers it that way). He was actually really good, no tears or fussing, quite calm although maybe a little bewildered by the experience.

He has put on so much weight over the last 6 1/2 weeks and has grown 5cm in length. He is now weighing 2.47kg / 5 pounds 7 ounces. Vinnie just needs to grow some new lung tissue now so that he come off CPAP and go home!

Day 45 Postpartum. Like, so over CPAP!

The last few days have been a bit of a disappointment in terms of Vinnie's progress with CPAP (or lack thereof!). He has now been on the steroids for over three weeks (initially a 10 day course) and every time they try to wean him off the drugs his O2 requirements go up, up and UP! On Saturday the doctors increased his dose again to sort out his oxygen... just when I think we are making progress Vinnie likes to remind us he isn't quite ready to go home.

While Vinnie is on the steroids to improve the inflammation in his lungs he will remain on CPAP. The consultant I spoke to this morning thinks he will be on the drugs for another two weeks, could be less, maybe longer, very hard to say. The poor little guy is so sick of those tubes going in to his nose and all the sticky tape on his face. I am sure he is sick of the hat too and probably will hate wearing hats as he gets older (my view anyway). Every six hours the nurse suctions all the mucus out of his nasal passages as they get a bit congested from the CPAP and he hates this with a passion. Some of the photos where he is crying are right after a suction. Don't blame him really, it doesn't look pleasant.

Despite his reliance on CPAP and the prolonged course of steroids, he is doing well. Vinnie is still putting on weight each day (now 2.4kg) and tolerating his feeds (still through the feeding tube - no breast feeding until he comes off CPAP. I possibly hate the pump as much as he hates the tubes!). He is getting very round though! A right little chubby cheeks... I am sure he would have been a 10 pounder if he'd gone full term ;-)

Day 40 Postpartum. New room. New clothes.

There have been a few milestones since the last post. Vinnie was moved to a level 2 room late Monday night (he was in level 3 before which is for the sickest prem babies). The level 2 room that he is in has 3 nurses looking after up to 8 babies (before it was 2 nurses to 4 babies). He has been keeping them busy with his oxygen since the move. They are continually having to adjust his O2 up and down as he is still very labile. Vinnie is doing a lot better than he was a couple weeks ago though and is slowly being weaned off the steroids (probably another 8 days to go). Hopefully he'll come off the CPAP soon after that and move on to high-flow, which is basically two small prongs attached to an oxygen cylinder - far less for the little man to contend with!

Since being moved in to level 2 Vinnie has started wearing clothes! He is not too fond of being dressed though (nor is is fond of being bathed!). He had a huge tantrum this afternoon when I put him in this adorable little outfit. (He is quite cute when he isn't being stroppy.) All the nurses have been exclaiming over his beautiful long eyelashes. One of the nurses today said they were the longest eyelashes she has ever seen on a baby (I tried to take a photo of them for you - iPhone pic quality not great though). Another nurse said to me yesterday "Beautiful long eyelashes. Does he get those from his Dad?". Charming! Yes, clearly they come from Dad as they are nothing like mine. (Why is it that boys gets long eyelashes - so unfair!)

Today was my first day of driving a car again after almost eight weeks. Great to have my independence back - although it has been nice being driven everywhere for a change. To amuse myself this afternoon I browsed some shops in Newmarket and tried a few things on. BIG mistake! What was I thinking? Trying clothes on 5 weeks after having a baby was not a great confidence booster. Did find a t-shirt dress I liked (fashionable sack-like item great for disguising unwanted curves) only to realise - how the hell does one breastfeed in a dress? Think I'll leave that one today! Even the shoes I tried on felt really tight. Do I still have fluid retention or have my feet not shrunk back to my pre-pregnancy size? Be warned ladies - I have heard that this can happen.

On a final note, the results from the immunisation poll are in. The overwhelming majority of us (82%) are pro-immunisation. 9% are against and 9% are undecided fence sitters. So there you have it! Thanks for participating :-)

Day 36 Postpartum. Vinnnie 'Rocky' Gee.

Vinnie continues to do well and it feels like we are starting to come out the other side. He has responded well to the course of steroids and although the dose has been lowered his oxygen requirements haven't gone up too much. He isn't quite ready to come off CPAP completely yet although I am sure he feels differently! Vinnie is getting extremely irritated with all the tubes and has been very grizzly the last week. Partly due to wind and perhaps also due to the steroids (apparently they make the little ones feel aggressive).

I might have already mentioned this, but I am astounded by how strong Vinnie is! He likes having his head turned to the right and lifts his little head and turns it himself if you lie him facing the wrong way... he does this with a lot of force! If he is lying face down he gets his hands underneath him and does these little press ups. I'm not kidding! The little guy is super strong. Uncommonly strong.

On Thursday morning during ward rounds it came to my attention that Vinnie's right eye was cut and bruised. We are not entirely sure how this happened (perhaps during an eye exam on Tuesday - although not sure why the bruise/cut wasn't apparent until Thursday? Maybe some heavy handling by the night nurse whilst cleaning his eyes? Hmmm... not sure), but Mum and Dad were not too impressed. I think the consultant could see I wasn't overly impressed during my interrogation and he assured me there wasn't an 'eye slasher' on the ward. Anyway, I am sure it looks a lot worse that it actually is and he seems to be healing well.

You can kind of see his poor little eye in this photo... he looks like he has had a round in the ring.

The house renovations are progressing nicely and we are hoping to move home at Easter. I'm looking forward to driving again and regaining my independence (although it has been kind of nice being driven around for the last five weeks!). We're not sure how much longer Vinnie will be at NICU for - up to another six weeks, but hopefully less than that. Some babies get sent home around 37-38 weeks gestation and he is currently 34 weeks... so maybe only a few more weeks if he continues to do well.

Day 32 Postpartum. Vinnie gets a new bed.

Vinnie was moved from an incubator into a heated cot yesterday - quite a milestone. He is now big enough (last weigh in - 2050g) to regulate his own body temperature. He has also been responding really well to the increased dose of steroids and his O2 requirements have dropped a lot. When I left the hospital just over an hour ago he was hovering at around 22.5% (the goal is 21% - so he was close to what you and I are breathing). I shouldn't really allow myself to get too excited at that as no doubt next time I see him he'll be up around 45% again... just the nature of a preterm baby with chronic lung disease I think. After tomorrow they will also start to wean him off the steroids again so his O2 might go up further. Fingers crossed he does a little better this time.

Just a short entry today but thought I'd include a few pics of the little guy in his new cot. You can probably notice how much chubbier he is looking compared with some of the early photos (he has even graduated to bigger nappies!!!).

Day 30 Postpartum. To immunise, or not to immunise?

Vinnie was four weeks old yesterday and I am not sure whether to say 'wow, time flies' or 'longest four weeks of my life'. I think I will adopt more of a 'the glass is half full' approach by saying that the last four weeks have flown by (only because I know that the next four weeks will seem much longer as I won't be in a drug induced stupor for the first part! Maybe I need to remedy that? Hmmm... unlikely.).

Vinnie's oxygen needs have been on the increase (again) the last few days. Just when I think we are making some progress everything spirals out of control (in my mind only, not really the case). I spend a lot of time beside his incubator giving him little pep talks (Come on Vinnie! Big deep breaths! You can do it!). I spoke to the consultant on ward rounds this morning and he said that he thinks (in hindsight) he should have put him on a higher dose of steroids. He has been on the steroids for just over a week now and they started weaning him off them yesterday. Vinnie clearly is not keen on this idea as his oxygen requirements have gone up since then. The consultant has now opted to increase the dose of steroids to a high dose for the next three days to hopefully sort him out. Well, fingers crossed. Mum will stand by on the sidelines and continue with the encouragement.

On a positive note though (remember - glass half full), Vinnie continues to gain weight and is now only 5 grams off 2 kilos! The consultant also mentioned this morning that as he gets bigger, his lungs get bigger, and he will hopefully grow out of this. (That wasn't exactly what he said - but that was how I understood it anyway.)

Aside from the progress update on the little man, today's topic of conversation revolves around Immunisation. At NICU they hold daily sessions for parents on different subjects - CPR, breastfeeding, immunisation etc. I attended the immunisation session a couple weeks ago and left feeling a little more informed about the schedule of jabs that Vinnie will receive from 6 weeks of age - what they are for, when to have them, why to have them etc. It all seemed very straight forward and the only question I had was 'why wouldn't you immunise your kids?'.

On Friday night we were invited around for dinner at a friends place and somehow got on to the subject of vaccines and immunisation. They are currently 25 weeks pregnant and I recommended that they look in to the flu vaccine this year as it is currently free for pregnant women and it covers the swine flu strain H1N1. Well, it was one of those harmless conversational pieces that opened up can of worms, or maybe a sack of venomous snakes would be a more apt description! The husband was very anti-immunisation and the wife was pro-immunisation. Cam thought this was hilarious and wouldn't drop the subject. My womanly intuition was picking up on the potential for marital disharmony between this lovely couple. ('Drop it Cam!' I mentioned twice, he didn't listen.)

I didn't realise I was so ignorant on the subject of vaccines/immunisations though! Apparently they are completely unnecessary and are keeping diseases alive across the world. We were even accused of being sheep for following the status quo (according to Mr M approximately 80% of the population immunise and 20% don't). Maybe I am a complete ignoramus but I choose to put my faith in the medical profession (particularly in light of current situation - pediatricians are the most Godly of doctors) and if they say immunise I say 'Yes!'.

So, for a bit of fun I thought we would have a poll on this subject. Interested to hear all your views on this! Will 80% of the viewers of this blog tick 'yes' and 20% 'no'? (I personally think that the majority of the 20% reside in less fortunate/educated areas with a very small few being conspiracy theorists like our friend Mr M).

Click on the top of the blog to vote on this weeks poll!

Day 27 Postpartum. Buy one get one free!

Vinnie continues to do well and gain weight. In today's pic you can see the little guy on the scales having a tantrum... he really doesn't like being handled by the nurses (probably because they poke him with needles and stick tubes down his nose and throat all day). He is now weighing in at 1850g (4 pounds, 1 ounce) - a 500g increase on his birth weight. Vinnie is still hanging out in his incubator but I am sure he'll graduate to a cot soon now that he is getting big (for a preterm!). His O2 is still up and down but not a cause for concern.

I'm back in to my regular routine of morning hospital visits after having a couple of days at home getting over my cold. I generally arrive at the hospital around 9am and set up for the morning, express some milk, clean Vinnie, get him out for a cuddle (2 hours), feed Vinnie, put him back in the incubator, express more milk, head home, eat lunch, turn on the TV and watch the Ellen (Degeneres) Show (!!!). As you can see, I am very busy.

Until a week ago I had never seen the Ellen show, I was kind of aware that she had one but had never seen it (or any other day time TV for that matter). It is quite hilarious really... she does this really lame dancing on every show, kind of like funny little old man. How sad am I that I now look forward to watching Ellen at 3pm each day? It is being moved to 5pm from Monday and I was really disappointed when I found out as Cam will probably get home when I am watching it and laugh at me and take all the joy out of my new fav show.

On the subject of daytime TV, I have a confession to make... I am considering buying a Zumba exercise DVD! I know, I need professional help. But the promise of toned abdominal muscles by dancing around like a crazy person is too tempting for this new mum looking to shed some baby weight. I've almost been sucked in to another couple of infomercials this week too - somehow I managed to resist the urge to buy the most amazing stain removal product and some machine that was going to solve all my back problems!

By far the worst (yet strangely addictive program) on TV is this British show called Jeremy Kyle. It has some fine examples of English slappers that have mislead men in to thinking they have fathered their children. Jeremy invites them on to the show to have a paternity test and you guessed the rest. Are these people for real?!

I don't know how people stay home and watch this stuff all day! I'm going to go mad if this continues! I want to go back to work! I am sure once Vinnie actually comes home I will feel differently about that last comment (for a little bit anyway). I will be too busy staring at him all day to watch TV... or maybe washing all his cloth nappies as Cam likes to remind me. (I really like to create more work for myself - why else would anyone consider reusables?)

Day 24 Postpartum. Mummy Jackson.

Would you believe it... after bleating on about germs, isolation periods and vaccines on my last entry I then developed a cold! I have been somewhat out of action the last two days and keeping my distance from NICU and Vinnie (hard... very hard). I paid a visit to the doctor yesterday to get her opinion on the severity of my cold and how long I should stay away from Vinnie. Apparently I am not dying and so long as I wear a face mask I should be ok to visit the little guy.

And there I was joking about face masks! I stopped by the hospital with Cam this afternoon for a quick visit and had to wear one. Not very practical when you have a cold and your nose is streaming and you are spluttering all over the place. After overdosing on Vitamin C and lemsips for the last couple of days I am starting to feel somewhat improved.

The weird thing (for me) is that I haven't been sick for years and suddenly I feel like the hospital is my second home and I have this weakened immune system where I am picking up bugs. I haven't had more than a winter sniffle since I first moved to London in 2003 where I came down with a terrible flu complete with fever, body aches and hacking cough. I remember reading somewhere that you have periods of good health/bad health that run in seven year cycles. That means I am about to enter a bad health period for the next seven years. Highly likely considering I now have a baby... every parent I know is always catching things off their kids. I don't know if there is any scientific basis to this theory (Amy?) but I'm running with it anyway...

Vinnie has been doing a lot better the last couple of days. His oxygen has come right down (although still up and down at times) and he continues to gain weight. I think his fingers are looking a bit chubbier. He seems to do a lot better when he is lying on his stomach (in terms of his oxygen) so the consultant has requested that he be kept in the prone position. When we visited him tonight he didn't seem so happy about this decision and was wriggling around trying to get comfortable. He was moving his head from side to side and holding his head up at times. Surely that is not normal? He is only 32 weeks gestation! Help!!

Day 22 Postpartum. Feed and Grow.

Well, a few changes with Vinnie's condition since our last entry. After being told that he had an infection (possibly pneumonia) and being put on a course of antibiotics, we were then told a couple days later that this was not the case and his high oxygen was due to Chronic Lung Disease. We were told Vinnie had this early on but had presumed he had grown out of it... apparently not. His little lungs are quite weak for some reason (not normal for a baby of his birth weight and gestation) and there is a lot of scar tissue from being on the ventilator his first week.

Cam and I met with the consultant on Friday to get a better understanding of what all this means and treatment options / long term prognosis (as much as they can say at this point). It seems as though some preterm babies just require a bit more assistance with their breathing than others and our little Vinnie is one of them. We were told that a post natal course of steroids might be required as well as some more time on the ventilator if his O2 continued to climb above 60%. Neither options are considered lightly as with all things there always seems to be possible side effects. Increased risk of Cerebral Palsy with the steroids and perhaps further lung damage with the ventilator.

It is quite likely that Vinnie will be sent home on oxygen as well and he might need to stay on it for 3-6 months. He will also need a period of isolation during this time... sorry for all those wanting to meet him... might be some time before this happens. We have also been told to get ourselves dosed up with the flu vaccine as if our wee man catches any bugs once he gets out he is going to land himself back in intensive care. So, if anyone gets sick in the coming months please stay away from Cam and I!!! I can just see the two of us walking around with face masks on all wacko like!

His O2 was climbing as high as 75% yesterday so the consultant made the decision to put him on a 10 day course of steroids to help with lung development. Although his oxygen needs are high he seems to be very stable in all other areas and still continuing to gain weight steadily. Yesterday we didn't get him out for cuddles and let him get some rest as he was a little unsettled.

This morning Cam and I spent some time with Vinnie and I am happy to report he is doing much better. His oxygen was back down to 33% when we arrived this morning and only climbed as high as 45% when we got him out for a cuddle. We also weighed Vinnie today and he is now up to 1720g - almost a 400g increase on his birth weight so doing really well. Hopefully he'll be able to come out of the incubator soon as he is almost big enough to be regulating his body temperature himself.

Other than hospital visits, Cam and I have been spending the last few days catching up with friends visiting from Brisbane (Amy and Wes) with their little girl Violet (4 1/2 months). Jo and Adam are also home from London with their little girl Freya (6 weeks). Amazing how quickly these little ones have grown in the past weeks/months... I am sure Vinnie will catch up to his girlfriends in no time :-)

Day 18 Postpartum. Who you lookin at?

Vinnie was wide awake for quite some time this morning - quite unusual for a baby his age. He looks like a completely different baby with his eyes wide open. He is quite funny how he fixates his stare on you and then his eyes follow different sounds in the room... I think he is going to be incredibly nosey! He was also showing me how he likes to suck his thumb (complete with little sucking noises and drool going everywhere!). I took a picture of this but it is a little hard to see with all the lines going in to his hand.

Vinnie's oxygen needs have been quite high again overnight and today. One of the consultants told me that he may need to go back on the ventilator (temporarily) while his infection is treated. He also had a blood transfusion last night as he is slightly anemic. Apparently this is related to his breathing as low oxygen = low red blood cell count. Despite all this sounding rather grim, the medical staff are somewhat matter of fact about these developments and keep assuring me that this is normal for preterm babies and Vinnie is doing well - this is just a minor set back.

I would like to fast forward the next few days and have him doing a little better again! One of the consultants mentioned to me that it is possible that Vinnie might be ready to go home before he is ready to come off the CPAP machine. Basically this means that Vinnie might go home with an oxygen machine and operator instructions for mum and dad, and need to stay on it for between 3-6 months. This idea is really just touching the periphery of 'possibilities' for me at the moment. I am choosing to instead focus on visualising him making a speedy recovery and coming off the machines ASAP!

I was talking to one of the other mums at NICU today who delivered a little boy a week ago at 28 weeks gestation. This is her second time around at NICU as her 15 month old daughter was born at 29 weeks gestation. Apparently her membranes ruptured early with both pregnancies, same as me. I read somewhere that there is a strong possibility that your membranes will rupture early in subsequent pregnancies if this happens to you the first time... and here is my living proof! Right now I am thinking that Vinnie is going to be an only child (a very spoilt only child!) as I can not imagine going through this again, particularly with a toddler.

On a lighter note, today Vinnie pooed all over me and his bed. I was changing his nappy and it just kept coming! His nurse was spraying air freshener around the room as apparently it was not a very pleasant aroma (I wasn't so offended)!

Day 17 Postpartum. Two steps forward, one step back.

Little Vinnie hasn't been doing so well today - his oxygen needs have been very high so the doctors had his chest x-rayed to see what was going on. The x-rays showed up a white area (not good - healthy chest/lungs should show up black) on the right side which apparently indicates an infection.... pneumonia I am told. I started to have a bit of a freak out at that, but the doctor assured me that this isn't as bad as it sounds (really?!) and that it is quite common for preterm babies with chronic lung disease to develop pneumonia during their stay.

So, our poor little baby has had another IV put in his foot for a course of antibiotics to treat the infection. Hopefully he'll start to show some improvement over the next day or two and his oxygen will be turned down a little... it has been really up and down the last few days going as high as 60% at times (he was hovering around 27-30% when he first went on CPAP).

It has been quite a tolling day on poor Vinnie - he was really unsettled from all the handling and then he screamed his head off when the IV was put in and the bloods taken. It is so hard watching him cry and seeing him so traumatised! Mum came in to visit this afternoon as all this was happening. I had been struggling to hold myself together and she had this panicked look on her face as I explained to her what was happening, it almost sent me over the edge.

The doctor spent some time assuring us that he is doing really well and this is just a little set back. We were warned early on that his stay in NICU would be frustrating that that often it would feel like we would take two steps forward and one step back. So, just trying to remain strong and focus on the positives at the moment. Speaking of which, Vinnie is gaining weight steadily - you may notice in today's pic that he is getting a bit chubbier and his colour has improved a lot.